I wonder why I do not
like discussing about myself. I wonder why I remain happy always. I also wonder
what would happen if I actually depict the true reflection of what I feel and
desire.
Life has not been a
blessing for me. And the same goes for each and every human. People say you
need to be frank/open but isn’t that what I intend to do too? If not with this
attitude, I would have either killed myself by trying something out of the way
people do and then be the headlines for many of them to sympathize.
Most of the times, I don’t
even understand the reason of my existence. I don’t understand why I was even
born. Considering the super natural power ‘God’ and worshipping, it solves
tensions of people most of the times. But is that the only solution of fighting
with it? I feel that is like actually finding a third party to share my views. For
me, the solution is always within. Had it not been this way, I would have been
called a thinker, or may be a psycho.
The push to write
this article was the thought, which laid me back when I was, questioned why I was
trying to show that I am happy. If not this way and if to brand myself what my
real self was, precisely I would be considered a chronic patient of depression
or suppression. We all believe friends are there to share your difficulties. But
the actual reality is that most of us, like to hear happy news. Most of us like
to be with people who generate positivity than negativity. In this case, is it
wrong to be one among them? Recall the time, when one of your friend suffered a
back log and cried infront of you and within your heart you said, you deserved
it as you didn’t give me your pen :P also, when the time your friend got dumped
up, you want to say that you deserved it for the air you showed when you were
committed. :D
I really can’t even
imagine, if we could actually be what we want to be. Like shout when I want to,
giving a shit to the surrounding around me; or cry when I want to and caring a
damn of who would notice me or my makeup getting scattered. :P
Above all this, I believe
I am best the way I am. As I have been created in the unique manner, with the unique
thinking mentality, with the unique mix of emotions. Let me for the time being,
be contended with what I have and with what I intend to have. Life is too long
and the time when I think I have no better work, I would surely ponder upon if I
could change and become a reflection of my real self!.
To be Continued...
